Honestly, it’s not a big deal. I’m approaching 32 years of life on this planet (next week, in fact) and I’m single. Without children. As a matter of fact, this Valentine’s Day I plan to work all day and rest all night by myself. And I’m okay with that.
So, why do I constantly have to defend myself against people who feel like I’m doing something drastically wrong with my life?
I’m not the only person who decided to wait before jumping into a marriage and popping out a litter of babies. Nowadays, plenty of women are having children later in life, and not just the Hollywood-celebrity types either. Some women are getting their careers in orderc, building their bank accounts, or just allowing themselves to mature until they’re ready to handle the responsibility of building a family.
I hear the question everywhere: visiting with relatives, talking to people on the job, on dates with guys who feel it’s okay to ask this type of question while waiting for our drink orders.
What’s wrong with you?
To this question, my answer is always the same. Nothing.
Let me give you a quick rundown about my traits. I’m a shapely woman, but far from grossly fat, and I keep myself neat and presentable. I’m always smiling, I’m creative, I have hobbies, I can have a random conversation or a well-thought out intellectually stimulating one, and I’m also a wealth of random trivia knowledge. In a nutshell, I’m pretty awesome, and you know what? A lot of single women over 30 are too.
The first thing people assume about me once I tell them about my lack of a marriage with 3 and a half kids is that I’m damaged goods. Or they assume that no one wants me. I’ve even been asked on several occasions by relatives who shall remain nameless if I was gay since I seldom brought men home to meet the family. You name it, I’ve heard it.
Truth is I used to be damaged. I was engaged in my early 20’s to someone who I thought I loved. However, instead of marrying me and fulfilling his role as my readymade Prince Charming, he ran off and married someone else. His actions hurt me to my core, and because of that I had a rough time trusting the guys I dated afterward. But you know what? I did learn how to trust. I grew from the experience and I can say now without the slightest hesitation that I’m glad I didn’t marry early. I wasn’t ready.
No disrespect to couples who decide to tie the knot early on. I know several couples that did. Some made it, some didn’t, but their life isn’t my life.
The same rules apply for the lack of babies. I wasn’t ready to be a mother back then. Shucks, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted children. Making my Prince Charming happy was my concern, and since he wanted children I was prepared to have them. That was foolish thinking. I can only imagine how my marriage and family would have been affected by me jumping into the pool of adulthood before I even knew how to swim.
Now that I’m older, the idea of a little bundle of joy makes me smile with my whole heart. Perhaps I don’t want a house full of children, but one or two would be perfect for me.
Yes, I’m 32 years old. I date. I have an active social life, I work hard, and I feel blessed. Yes, I want a good marriage and healthy children, and it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. There is nothing wrong with me or anyone else who chooses to wait before making a family.
Regardless of what other people may think, I can say with assurance that I’m living my life and not just existing in it.