Dating nowadays isn’t easy. Between men who don’t believe in courting women, filtering through online dating apps for half-decent prospects, and reading dating horror stories all over social media, it’s no wonder a lot of us have fallen victim to believing in myths. However, it’s sometimes these very myths that cause heartaches instead of preventing them. Here are five relationship myths you should always ignore.
Men with children come with baggage
It’s a common assumption that by the time we reach our thirties or forties, we will likely have a kid or two from a previous relationship. And that’s okay. One thing to remember, though, is that if a man has a child with another woman, that does not necessarily mean he has drama attached to that previous relationship. You could end up missing out on a great guy if you automatically attach the loathed “baby mama drama” title to every single father you date. Give him a chance!
Being submissive to your man means you’re a doormat
This myth couldn’t be farther from the truth. Acts of submission are acts of love and appreciation. Giving him a massage, listening about his day without interrupting to talk about yourself, or just letting him watch a game in peace with his friends are all acts of submission, putting someone else’s needs above your own. It doesn’t have to be an all day, every day event nor should it be abusive. Many women have the idea that being submissive to their man means they are weak or losing their independence. But ask yourself two things: Do you love him, and does he treat you right? If the answer is yes to both, feel free to fix him a plate occasionally. It’s alright. You’re still a strong woman.
True love is supposed to hurt
No. It isn’t. A lot of us tend to confuse pain for passion. If you continually engage in a romantic tug-of-war to where you’re constantly going from deep in love to almost hating your man, all that does is wear you out. It’s true you may occasionally get hurt by a loved one, but you should never stay in a pained place. Love uplifts, it heals, and it can have passion. It does not cause you to live in constant drama.
Bad in bed once, bad in bed forever
Ever find a guy you thought was great but as soon as you two decided to “bless the bedroom,” you realized he was severely lacking? In this case, a compromise is in order. If your man doesn’t satisfy you, tell him how he can. Show him. Remember, closed mouths don’t get fed. Give him a chance to learn your body. Not all guys will knock it out the park in the first round like your ex-boyfriend had done. One bad first encounter doesn’t mean it has to be bad every time.
Real relationships shouldn’t be work
This one is a bit tricky. On one hand, relationships shouldn’t be work. You don’t want your love to become a chore. However, on the other hand, relationships aren’t just about fun times and sex. It does require maintenance, and it won’t always be easy. This is where commitment comes in. If you throw in the towel every time something gets hard, you’re not committed. When two people with separate personalities, habits, beliefs, experiences, etc. connect with each other, disagreements are bound to occur. You go through changes. Life happens. Both of you will have to put in some time and effort to keep your bonds tight.
Relationships are never perfect, but it can be a lot easier when you ignore the myths and learn your partner.