Love

“Elaborate Ultimatums”

Ok ladies, so I know we have all been here. We have all been the culprits of making elaborate ultimatums, knowing that there is nothing more that a man hates than being pushed in the corner to make a decision. However, in our heads we plan these conditional compromises because we assume, or hope, that this will make the love of our life understand that we mean business. That we want more, that maybe our 20’s are not meant to be completely “selfless years”. So in doing that we sit on the phone with our girl friends, talk with our moms, and maybe even a neighbor or two about a “game plan”. We strategize about a plan to make him understand, to make him see that if he does not compromise with what we want, we are out. We are packing our bags, putting aside our emotions, and we are leaving; because that is the right thing to do. Right? We have been told not to settle. If you want something get it. You deserve it. But what if our game plan leaves us stranded, out to dry, and miserable.

“What if our game plan lacked strategy? What if leaving the one person that refused to compromise, just once, becomes the worst compromise you have ever made with your pride and your heart.”

I have been there. I have been the culprit. I have made that elaborate ultimatum, with a well thought out strategy. And in that “game plan” I lacked one thing, I never truly predicted the outcome. I did not want to face it. I wanted to see things for what I wanted, and not for what they truly were. I wanted the complete package; my success, his success, and later ours. But see, often times we plan an elaborate ultimatum but are not truly prepared for the possible outcome.You feel as though you have made your best chest move, but you never really ask yourself if you are okay with him yelling “checkmate”! Now I do not want you to misconstrue what I am saying, because I am not telling you settle. However, I am telling you to examine the outcome, because I failed to do that. I allowed pride,emotions, and image to make me compromise with something I never thought I would; my happiness.

The first day when you deliver the ultimatum to him you feel like a boss, because in your mind you stood up for what you believed in. You delivered the value, and you strategized. However, you failed to examine the outcome. You did not think about how you would feel two weeks later, or even a day later, knowing that you walked out the door on someone you love because you feared that you would not get your way. You felt as though your life did not deserve a plot change; that this was not how your happily ever after was suppose to end. But ladies,once again you failed to realize that every action has a reaction. I have learned that timing is everything, and often times we find that time may not always be on our side. But I encourage you before making any conditional compromises to always remember, the course you chose, and the consequence you must live with.

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