Friendships are important for a healthy life. Whether you have fifty friends or one great imaginary one, it doesn’t matter. We need interaction; it’s a fact of life. However, not everyone we call a friend is someone we should keep around. In fact, some “friends” are the very thing that keep us involved in drama and sleepless nights, although we don’t always recognize it right away. Well, here are some types of friends that you should dump if you want to have a more peaceful life.
The One Who Drains You of Your Energy
Ever find yourself on the phone with a buddy, and as soon as you hang up you feel like you need a candy bar and a nap? Chances are, you were talking to a type of “energy vampire,” for lack of a better term. These people have more than a fair share of emotional baggage they tend to pawn off on those close to them. Sometimes it’s done intentionally. Think along the lines of “misery loves company.” Sometimes, though, it’s unintentional. While they think they are merely pouring their hearts out to their friends, they are actually weighing their friends down with issues and problems that can range from serious to superficial. It can be tiring, especially when it happens all the time.
The One Who Never Lets You Speak
No one likes a motormouth, but this friend goes far beyond the normal range of talkativeness. This is the friend who always has to be the center of attention. That’s not to say he or she goes out of the way to steal your thunder; it is a quiet type of manipulation, figuratively speaking. By constantly dominating every conversation, they keep the proverbial limelight shining on them. Let’s face it: Any friend who prefers an audience instead of a conversation probably isn’t the best friend to have.
The One Who Always Tries to Steal Your Dreams
Competition is the claim to fame for this type of friend. If you find yourself doing something good, living your life, following your dreams, you may find the “dream stealer” following in your footsteps or blatantly trying to top whatever it is you’re doing. You decide to take a five day vacation in another state? They may take a 10 day vacation in another country. Decide to pursue your passion in music? Suddenly, they will have the urge to sing and perform regardless of talent. Want to take a few online classes in a subject that interests you? Your buddy will no doubt decide on a whim to enroll in a familiar university and become the world’s biggest academic. Get the gist? Dream stealers never let you have a moment to yourself, not when they think they can outdo you.
The One Who Never has a Positive Thought
No one likes a Debbie Downer. This particular friend never has anything nice to say about you, themselves, or anyone else. Every situation is viewed as a worst case scenario with them, and it becomes difficult to remain optimistic in their presence. Nothing you do will be good enough to this friend. They are too critical and can often leave you feeling just as drained as the aforementioned energy vampire.
The One Who Doesn’t Understand Boundaries
If you find yourself attached in a friendship that involves your buddy constantly in your face, in your home, on your phone, on your computer, just always around, this one might be the friend who doesn’t understand boundaries. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with your bestie; you should have regular interactions with them. That’s how you keep a friendship healthy. What isn’t healthy, however, are friendships that involve the other person not understanding that while you value your time together, you also value your time alone too. And you need time with other people. Those who become too dependent in a friendship can become problematic.
The One Who Only Likes You When You’re Single
If you find yourself in a friendship with one of these people, you may find them to be somewhat difficult to deal with depending on your current marital status. If you’re single like them, no problem, but as soon as you get a mate, big issue. No matter how awesome your new guy or gal is, no matter how much you still try to include your bestie in your daily life, they will never have anything good to say about your relationship. They accuse you of changing or “acting funny.” They question your loyalty to them because you are now sharing your life with someone else on a totally different level from your friend. It’s almost as though they refuse to support you.
The One Who Stabbed You in the Back, but…
This is probably one of the hardest friends to have. These are the people you have probably known for a while and loved the most. Then they did something that caused you to feel betrayed. Maybe it was one big incident or several small ones. It doesn’t matter. The fact is they hurt you. Now, you may choose to forgive them and press on with the friendship. After all, you did value their friendship at a pretty high level before they did whatever they did which caused the foundation to crumble. Yet, for all that they have done, as soon as they perceive the slightest bit of disloyalty, they cast you aside. Whereas you try to heal from the hurt they caused, they have no problem blaming your for something and cutting you off completely. The two-way street doesn’t exist for them. In their eyes, their pain — however real or imagined it may be — will always be greater than yours.
Toxic relationships can cause a ridiculous amount of unnecessary stress that no one needs. But if in the process of weeding out the bad ones you find one or two gems, hold onto them.