Love

Your mate hasn’t posted you to their social media, are they cheating?

Do you ever sit and wonder how couples expressed love back in the day when social media wasn’t around?

Back when writing letters, sending flowers and calling were ways to show appreciation and affection. When you could go on a date and have to talk on the phone with your girlfriends for hours to let them know how it went instead of them interactively being there with you via social media. It seems like it’s so far in the past, unless you and your friends are anti-technology, that everyone was connected in a more personalized manner outside of cell phones.

Browsing online, I often see relationship columns that answer the repeat question, “We’ve been dating for ‘x’ amount of time and he doesn’t post me on his social media. Is he cheating?”

Each time I see this, I question how superficial social media has made us as a collective whole. As well as how, for many in relationships, they don’t feel validated without multiple ‘likes’ online, or even how some people feel as if they need to be claimed on a social media site for their mate to establish they are together.

With so much transparency online it walks a dangerous line of over share. I personally enjoy seeing couples’ photos online if they are dressed for a night out or just lounging on a couch. But how soon is soon enough that you should start broadcasting your relationship online? For me, I say 6 months to a year. That doesn’t mean once you hit 6 months you start posting frequently about each other, but you’ve entered the territory of ‘we are on the same page as far as this relationship is concerned and I’m ready to let people out there know I’m in a committed relationship and no longer looking.’

I once knew a girl who posted a new guy on her Instagram account every 3 weeks and then would go back and delete all their pictures together, I’m guessing because things went awry. Don’t you think that’s a good reason not to post a mate online early? I also know people who refuse posting because of the fact that when something is fresh and new, you want to protect and nurture it correctly in privacy and opening up that door to others can cause your thought processes to change.

How does your mate claiming you online change anything? Does it make it evident they are in a relationship? Not always. From the outside it could look like you and that person are just cool, or chilling. Does it secure that your relationship will last? Definitely not, and will it stop others from potentially making a pass at your mate? No.

I think in this day and age people should focus more on cultivating a healthy and enjoyable relationship, rather than worrying about the approval of others. When do you feel like it’s appropriate to start posting your significant other online?

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